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Organizovala baba takmicenje: "Ko moze da predje reku,a da mu krokodil ne odgrize jaja!?"
Navela je da ako nekome krokodil odgrize jaja, nece vise moci da kaze slovo "S" vec ce govoriti "Š".
Prijavili su se Englez, Francuz i Srbin.
Englez ide..... pliva.... vraca se, pita ga baba "Kako je bilo", a on njoj "Šuper, baba, Šuper".
Ide Francuz...... pliva.... vraca se, pita ga baba "Kako je bilo", a on njoj "Šuper, baba, Šuper".
Ide Srbin...... pliva.... vraca se, pita ga baba "Kako je bilo", a on njoj "Super, baba, Super".
Nakon toga, izlazi krokodil iz reke govoreci: "Gde je onaj Šrbin, da mu jeb*m mater!"
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Mujo saznao da ga Fata vara, crvsto je odlucio da nadje sa kim. Uzeo je pusku.
Otisao je do obliznjeg kafica, i povice: "Ko je odavde bio sa mojom zenom u krevetu!?"
Cuje se glas iza: "Nemas ti toliko metaka, jarane!"
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Udje plavuša u banku grada New Yorka i i zatraži službenika za pozajmicu. Kaže da ide u Europu poslovno na dve nedelje, i treba joj $5,000.
Službenik joj odgovori da će za to trebati nekakvu garanciju, pa plavuša izvadi ključeve svog novog Rolls Roycea parkiranog na ulici ispred banke.
Ljudi sve provere, i banka se složi da uzme auto kao garanciju za zalog. Predsednik banke i njegovi zaposlenici su se svi dobro nasmejali na račun plavuše jer je iskoristila svoj $250,000 vrijedni Rolls kao garanciju za pozajmicu od $5,000. Potom zaposlenik banke odveze Rolls u bankino podzemno parkiralište i parkira ga tamo. Dve nedelje kasnije, plavuša se vrati, isplati dug, i jos naknadu koja je dođe $15,41.
Službenik joj potom kaže: “Gospođice, stvarno smo sretni sto smo poslovali s Vama, i ova je transakcija protekla jako glatko, ali smo malo zbunjeni. Dok ste bili odsutni, proverili smo vas, te smo saznali da ste multimilionerka. Ono što nas zbunjuje je, zašto ste se mučili sa uzimanjem $5,000?” Plavuša je odgovorila: “A gde bih drugde u New Yorku mogla parkirati svoj auto na dve nedelje za samo $15.41?”
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Dolazi cigan u biro za zaposaljavanje i upita dali imaju neki posao za njega, i da zeli da radi. Zaposleni mu odgovori: "Imate srece, imamo jedan bas za vas. Radicete za jednog milionera, tjs. cuvacete njegovu cerku, ona je nimfomanka, pa ce te morati da je kresnete po koji put na dan, vozicete Mercedes Mclaren, plate ce vam biti 4000$ mesecno." Cigan iznenadjeno pita: "Jel vi to mene zaje*avate!?" A zaposleni njemu: "A koje prvi poceo?"
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Bilo je jedno brdo, puno govana... Dosli su istrazitelji da ispitaju otkud to sve onde. Nisu mogli da utvrde kako je to brdo govana nastalo, pa su otisli do obliznjeg sela. Videli su jednog dedu i pitali ga: "CIca, kako je nastalo ono brdo govana?" CIca zamahnu glavom koji put i poce besediti: "To je bilo davno, jedan kralj je imao 3 sina i cerku. Svaki dan sinovi zaljubljeni u cerku su se prepirali koji ce je prvi uzeti. Saznao otac za to i izbaci cerku zbog incesta izvan zamka, nju ukrade zmaj, zmaja ubili neki varvari, uzeli cerku kralja, ubili je i ukrali joj dlake sa glave. Kada su kraljevici to saznali, jedan po jedan su se ubili." Slusavsi starca, istrazitelji ga upitase: "Pa KAKVE to ima veze sa ovim brdom. Kako je brdo nastalo?" A on njima: "A brdo, ma nemamm pojma, neko se isr* ili doneo neko."
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TOP 5 Most worthy countries in Gold! ENG [EUROPE] - DAY 233 - (11 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
