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VICOVI
Kasno navečer došao Mujo pijan kući. Fata otvara vrata i odmah se počne derati na njega.
- Opet si mrtav pijan, a, propalice?! Mujo se klati na vratima, podrigne i zadere se:
- Šuti, bona! Dovoljno sam kažnjen da te duplo vidim …
Vratio se Muja iz Australije i pita ga Haso
- Jel Mujo jesi vido kengura?
- Jesam
- Pa kako izgleda bolan?
- Ptica ko ptica......
Kaže otac sinu:
- "Perice, glup si ko ovaj stol
(pokuca na stol)".
- "Tata, tata, netko kuca."
- "Neka sine, ja ću."
Ciga se budi nakon operacije:
- Doktor: Kako ste?
- Ciga: Dobro, ali ne osećam noge!
- Doktor: Izvinite, ali morali smo da ih operemo.
U zatvoru u istoj ćeliji ležali gubavac i narkoman.
Šetao se tako čuvar i pored njihove ćelije kad je prolazio ispadne mu ključ ali on to nije primetio i nastavi dalje.
Gubavac razmišlja dal da uzme ključ i pokuša pobeći. Nakon nekog vremena odluči da pokuša…
Krene levom rukom da dohvati ključ između rešetaka, otpadne mu ruka, krene desnom rukom otpadne mu druga ruka. Šta će on krene nogom da nekako dogura ključ do sebe, i da narkoman otključa i da pobegne, ali otpadne mu noga.
Narkoman tada prasne u smeh i kaže:
- “BURAZ TI JOS MALO PA IZAŠAO”
OGLASI: (OGLAS NISU STVARNI, OSMIŠLJENI SU ZBOG RADI ZABAVE)
Bata Zajin brat Bata Dragiša vi preparučuje da odgledate novi film ˝Uspavana pepeljuga i 7 praseta˝. Karte možete da nabavite od 8h do 17č.
NOVO!!! Novi lek protiv kašljanje!!
Ako kašljete ki magarci navrnite u najbližu apateku I tražite sirup od štuku sa bosiljem, preparat Doktora Murata Buljobrižihasanbrahimovića ˝Buljo anti-kašljin ˝. Šifra: OŠTEĆENI ŠTRAF( ŠRAF) ZA LEVI TOČAK OD NAPREDA NA CRVENOM AUTU
Čistim tepisi, I ponjvice u koje mogu da ugradim tajno mesto za ključ
Šifra: LANAC ODA BICIKLU
Svilam lično starem svatu I izbacijem oglođane kosti, samo imam 1 uslov, da ne ćuškate sas mene komendiju I smeta mi dim od cigaretle u preteranim količinama! ŠIFRA:MOTORNA TESTERA
Nova Radio- Televizija Podmornice iz plićak Belicu , preparučujem da je gledate ili slušate na 10674.457 FM. ŠIFRA: POKRCANI ORASI
Moj tata( misli se na tatu od mojega mene Gigoslava) prodaje njivu površine 48 ektara gde je sadio kukuruz salatu. ŠIFRA: PRIPRAVLJEN AJVAR
Ako vašem bendu treba bubnjar, ja vi preparučujem da uzmete mog prijatelja, njegovoga njega, Lepog Guzoja! Njegov opis: Ćelav, braon loknasta kosa do uveta a na čelo, njemu onako ćelavome od kosu polaze I loknaste šiške iste boje ko I kosa. Nosi naočare veće od oka, dugačak mu 196 cm, zapravo dugačka mu visina neje dugačak, moja greška, da bidnem ispravan( da ne pomislite da ne znam rodovi, učim valjda nešto u čkole), I jedna ruka mu kraća od levu nogu. Ko se interesuje neka se javi na našu šifru. ŠIFRA: BAJAT LEBA
A SAAAAAADAAA IZNENAĐENJE! KANDIDATI ZA EVROZVIZNI, VI BIRATE! GLASANJE BESPLATNO, A GLASATE NA BROJ ISPRED IMENA KANDIDATA.(GLASOVE POSTAVITE U KOMENTAR)
Po 1. Put u istoriji da preko interneta Vi birate muzičare koji će da pretpostavljaju našu zemlju na Evrozvizniji!
1. Debela Marta I 40 praseta (zapravo 39 praseta I veprina)
Sa pesmu Na šta si me izvatao Mile
2.Predrag Lepa Lukić sa pesmu:
Nadice slušaj
3. Predrag Cune Marinković sa pesmu:
Oj Dobrila Vrati se!
4. Jednom smo ga pominjali u iznenađenju Predrag Živković Tozovac sa pesmu:
Račun mi za struju stigo
Nadam se da ste uživali, zhvaljujem sena pažnji I što ste imali vremena da se nadžogerite i da čitate moj članak, ajde bre, doviđenja!
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
