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Kratkovidni profesor šeta pogledom po učionici, zatim uperi prst u jednog koji je stajao sasvim u dnu:
- Ti, dole!… Ponovi šta smo učili na prošlom satu!
- Ma odakle znam…
- Kako ne znaš? Zašto sinoć nisi obnovio lekciju?
- Pa… sinoć sam igrao poker sa prijateljima, pa smo malo cugnuli, pa smo zaglavili jutros do tri…
- Šta?! – zagrcnu se profesor.
- Pa šta ti radiš ovde, nesrećo jedna?!
- Ja? Pa… poslali me iz firme da popravim radijator…
Pokucao vuk malim jarićima na vrata i kaže:
- Jarići, jarići otvorite! Ja sam vaša mama, donjela sam vam mlijeko.
A jarići odgovoriše:
- Daj, ne seri vuče, mama je odnijela mlijeko u laboratorij na analizu.
Šta se raspada brže od Yuga.
- Zemlja koja ga proizvodi.
Pojavila se plavuša u kvizu na TV-u. Voditelj joj postavi pitanje:
- Koliko je 2+2?
- Tri – odgovori plavuša.
Voditelj se sažali pa zamoli publiku da joj daju još jednu šansu i oni joj daju još jednu šansu. Plavuša na isto pitanje sad odgovori:
- Pet.
Opet se oni dogovoriše da joj daju još jednu šansu. Plavuša treći put odgovori:
- Četiri.
Na to ustaje jedna plavuša iz publike i dobacuje:
- Dajte joj još jednu šansu!
Zaustavlja pandur auto na mostu.
- Čestitam, vi ste pettisuciti auto koji je prešao ovaj most i zato ćete dobiti nagradu od cetiri tisuce euta. Šta ćete da radite sa novcima?
Vozač:
- Uplati ću da polažem vozački.
Na to će kolega pored njega:
- Ma pustite ga, vidite da ne zna šta priča, pijan je kao majka.
Na to će drugi:
- E, znao sam ja da nećemo da doguramo daleko sa ukradenim autom.
Interpol se hvali da može svakoga pronaći. Neka nađe posao u Hrvatskoj.
Dolazi čojvek sa nožem u leđima kod doktora, i kuka:
- Doktore! Pomagajte!
- Zaboravi, prošlo je tri sata i više ne radim.
- Molim Vas doktore, krvarim!!
- Ma nema šanse. Tri su sata i idem kući.
- Doktore, umrijet ću!!
- Dobro. Dođi ovamo.
Doktor mu izvadi nož iz leđa i zabije u oko i kaže:
- E, tako. Sad idi kod očnog, on ti radi do pet.
- Tata, koliko ima planeta?
- Mnogo sine, k’o korumpiranih pandura, ne zna im se broj.
Šta napraviš kad poližeš najslađu i najmekšu picu na svijetu?
- Vratiš pelenu nazad.
Sretne crnac dobru vilu i zamoli je da mu ispuni dvije želje:
- Hoću da budem bijel i da uvjek imam vode!
I tako ga ona pretvori u wc šolju.
Izliječio sam sina od grickanja noktiju.
- Stvarno, ali kako?
- Izbio sam mu sve zube!
Pita unuk baku:
- Bako jel imaš još onog žutog pudinga?
Baka:
- Nemam sine,ne gnoje se babi noge više.
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
