Esim - Smoking Baby Tyrant Wages War on South Korea
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Smoking Baby Tyrant Wages War on South Korea (Old article)
Posted 11 years ago by
TrickyTraegs    
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Over the past few days, South Korea and Indonesia have been locked in conflict as each country attempts to wrest power from the other. Sources tell SHFTimesC that the conflict arose when Indonesian President and smoking baby tyrant , astagadragon , heard rumors of robust tobacco fields in South Korea and immediately commanded his nation to strike. The corpulent conqueror of the tiny archipelago nation was overheard telling his cabinet:

Baby want tobacky! Give tobacky! I can has tobacco? U giev! Baby also want snack. I has Colt 45!? Snacky snacky snacky!


Shortly thereafter, the cabinet convened to discuss the implications of an attack on South Korea. A source inside the Indonesian government told SHFTimesC the following:

After our cherubic leader commanded us to attack South Korea, the cabinet immediately went into discussions on the following topics:

1. Did the President require a nap?
2. Did the President require a change of diaper?
3. Did the President require a snack? If so, should said snack be administered before or after nap time?
4. Did the President require another pack of menthols?
5. Should we attack South Korea?

We determined that, yes, the President required a nap and a change of diaper, but before we were able to establish the sequence and frequency of snacking, our dear president waddled back into the meeting room, hit me with his rattle, removed his britches, and commanded me to “get crackin.’” While the presidential diaper was being redressed, South Korea began their attack. Let’s just say, the president’s wasn’t the only diaper in need of changing after that.


Indonesian citizens are calling the attack, “The South Korean Brown Noise .” The majority of the population has retreated into bathroom stalls across the country.

South Korean officials have been unreachable for comment regarding “Operation: Shartpants”, but an anonymous source inside the halls of power has confirmed that South Korea does not, in fact, have any tobacco fields to speak of.

More on this story as it develops.

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Fun Facts for Great Justice

South Korea’s population remains strong at 130.
South Korea’s most suffixed citizen is Valos , Emperor General, Dark Prince, Childman, Friend-of-No-One-Brother-To-All, Elephant Wang, El Chupacabra, M.D., PHD, Esq.
Pandiculation is the simultaneous act of stretching and yawning.

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