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- Nu-s ăia preşedintele Bush şi Colin Powell acolo la masă?
- Da, ei sînt, răspunde barmanul.
Aşa că tipul se duce la si le zice:
- Ce onoare, ce faceţi aici?
- Plănuim al treilea război mondial, zice Bush.
- Serios? Şi ce o să se întîmple?
- O să omorîm 140 de milioane de irakieni şi o blondă cu ţîţe mari, zice Bush.
La care tipul:
- O blonda cu ţîţe mari? De ce o blondă cu ţîţe mari?
Bush se întoarce spre Powell, îl bate pe umăr şi zice:
- Vezi, bă deşteptule, ţi-am zis eu că n-o să-i pese nimănui de 140 de milioane de irakieni!
2.Era in timpul razboiului din Golf...
Americanii se luptau cu Saddam. Somalezii voiau sa intre si ei in razboi si cer americanilor: luati-ne si pe noi in razboi.
Americanii: Noi v-am lua, dar cu ce forte veniti?
Somalezii: .. pai, va dam un tanc.
Americanii: un tanc???
Somalezii: .... bine, bine vi-l dam si pe-al doilea.
3.În timpul celui de-al doilea razboi mondial într-o transee un soldat german peste a carui picioare trecuse un tanc si i le zdrobise:
- Mutti, mutti helfe mir!... (mama, mama ajuta-ma!...)
În alta transee un soldat rus a carui mâna fusese zmulsa de o grenada:
- Mati, mati...(mama, mama...)
În alta transee un soldat român care fusese zgâriat la cot de un glont:
- Mata-n p***a de glont împutit!!!
4.Intr-un sat din Moldova se intorceau barbatii de la razboi. Ileana la fel ca toate celelalte femei isi astepta barbatul in poarta. Aceasta il vede pe Vasile si-l striga:
- Vasileeeeee da Ion a meu unde e?????
Acesta cand a vazut-o s-a schimbat la fata. Intra amandoi in curte si se aseaza in prag. Vasile:
- Hai sa iti zic cum o stat treaba...
I: Lasa tu zi unde e a ramas la crasma porcu..
V: Nu, nu, eram cu barbatutu intr-zi asa frumoasa ca asta...
I: Asa si??
V: jucam table... Si tu il cunosti pe Ion si stii ca e mai nebun el asa cateodata!!!
I: Da stiu da ce e cu asta???
V: Eiiii ghici ce i-a trecut in momentul ala prin cap lui Ion?
I: Ceeee??
V: Un glonte uite atat de mic
5.Era odata intr-o armata un nebun, toti le era frica de el asa ca se aduna toti intr-o zi sa se hotarasca ce sa faca cu nebunu.... cand unu dintre soldati le zice:
- ma eu zic sa ii facem o pusca de lemn ca sa nu ne ciuruiasca
I-au facut o pusca de lemn si ia zis ca atunci cand vede inamicu sa faca :
- puschi puschi poc poc
se aproprie razboie si nebunu se duce pe front si incepe: puschi puschi poc poc, puschi puschi poc poc si cade intr-o groapa.... cand se trezeste toti erau morti si vede un tanc ca se indreapta spre el si incepe: puschi puschi poc poc , puschi puschi poc poc si tancul se opreste in fata lui si iese un soldat si incepe tanky tanky boom boom tanky tanky boom boom
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
