Article
- Pa da počnemo:
- Allooo, ovdje Pero333, jel' to Parlament RH?
- Jeste gospodine, a što želite?
- Hoću da postanem član Parlamenta, šta mi za to treba?
- Jesi ti čovječe lud?
- Jesam, jel' treba još nešto?
- Maloprije, ulicom, ispred mene je išla neka djevojka. Počne da ubrzava hod..i ja ubrzah za njom. Ona potrči, potrčah i ja. Ona počne da vrišti, zavrištih i ja iz sveg glasa! Čak nisam ni vidio od čega smo bježali.
- UPOZORENJE:
Votka i led će upropastiti vaše bubrege.
Rum i led će upropastiti jetru.
Viski i led će upropastiti vaše srce.
Džin i led upropastiće vam mozak.
Coca-cola i led će vam upropastiti zube.
-Očigledno je led smrtonosan.
- 1.Dan
-Dragi,idem na fitnes!
-Dobro draga.
2.Dan
-Dragi,idem na aerobik!
-Dobro draga.
3.Dan
-Dragi,idem na jahanje!
-Idi,draga,konj je zvao već tri puta!
- Poližeš vegetu, popiješ rakiju i zagrizneš glavicu luka.
Jer tekila, sol i limun su za curice.
- Decko: jeli tebi tata Terorist?
Cura: aa znam tu foruu, izgledaam kao bomba a?
Decko: ne vec si ruzna kao taliban...
- Rad je zadovoljstvo......ali sad usred krize nije trenutak da se prepustamo zadovoljstvima.
- Kaže učiteljica malome Perici da prevede na engleski:
- "Mačka je pala u vodu i udavila se."
Mali Perica:
- "The cat BUM in the water GLUGLUGLU, no more MIJAU MIJAU...
- Sinoč lopov ušao u moju kuću i traži pare, ja se probudim i počnem da tražim s njim...
- U vinu je mudrost,
u pivu je sloboda,
a u vodi su bakterije!
- Ulazi čovjek u kafić i prilazi gospodinu za šankom: Vidi Pere, pa gdje si pero 100 godina te nisam vidio. Vidim pustio si bradu, brkove sav si se promjenio.... Ovaj ga u čudu gleda: Šta je tebi, pa nisam ja Pero. Zar si i ime promjenio?
- Testirali miševe na alkohol. Jednom dali Teqilu, drugom Vodku a trećem rakiju.
Nakon pola sata gledaju posljedice.
Prvi šta je pio Teqilu pjeva, pleše i smije se....
Drugi šta je pio Vodku zaspo
Treći šta je rakiju pio divlja u kavezu i viče: Di je maca, daj mi macu da je prebijem!!!!
- Istukao zet punicu i ona ga tužila. Na sudu zet sve prizna. A sudac kaže:
- Raspravu odgađam za deset dana, a ti, zete, u moj ured.
- Što me niste osudili? - upita zet suca.
- Čovječe, istuci i moju, pa ću te osloboditi!
- Dođe Zagorec doma pijan.
Žena mu opali šamar i kaže: "Buš još pil?"
Ovaj šuti.
Žena mu pritisne još jedan šamar: "Odgovori! Buuš još pil?"
Zagorec i dalje šuti.
Žena mu tresne još jači šamar: "Reci! Buuuš još pil?"
A ovaj promrmlja : "No dobro, daj mi natoči."
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- Zašto su u Zagorju česte poplave??? Zato jer ni zemlja ne želi piti vodu...
- Muskarac ima 2 emocije : gladan i napaljen. Ako vidis muskarca bez erekcije napravi mu sendvic!
- Nismo svi isti.
Nekog u birtiji pogodi pjesma, a nekog flaša..
- Koja je razlika između magarca i medvjeda?
Jelen ima rogove...
- Otkad tebe poznajem,više ne mogu ni da jedem,ni da pijem,ni da pušim!...
Oh,dragi,zar me toliko voliš?
Ne,nego sam totalno bankrotirao!....
- Žene su kao Oreo keksi.
Okreneš,poližeš i umočiš.
- Naše mi prijateljstvo puno znači. Kad ti plačes i ja plačem, kad se ti smiješ i ja se smijem, kad se ti baciš kroz prozor, ja pogledam dole i opet se smijem.
- Život je sex,sex je sreća-kad nema sexa,tuga je veća!
- Kažu sve što je lijepo kratko traje...
...a vidi mene ja još živ !!!
- Nabroji pet vrsta piva:
1.Osječko
2.Karlovačko
3.Ožujsko
4.Pan
5.Becks ...
Bravo!! A sad nabroji pet vrsta kondoma?
1.Durex.....
2?
3.?
4.?
5.?
Ne znaš? Da manje piješ,a više jebeš, znao bi!..
- Jedna riba je napisala na FB: "minus 18 centimetara".
Sada ne kapiram da li se ošišala ili je ostavio dečko?!
- Ako te boli želudac...popij pelinkovac!
A za sve ostalo što te zaboli popij Jeger-ima 56 trava.
Da ga jebeš, jedna će ti pomoći!
Next article:
Vicko No.2 (11 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
