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Državno odvjetništvo RH odlučilo je, zbog širenja mržnje i netrpeljivosti
pozdravom „za dom spremni“, kazniti sljedeće "zločince":
1. Josip Joe Šimunić – 25.000 kuna
2. Nikola Šubić Zrinski – 25.000 zlatnika
3. Ban Josip Jelačić – 100 srebrnjaka sa svojim likom
4. Ivan pl. Zajec, autor opere Nikola Šubić Zrinski – 30 dana prisilnoga rada u gradskoj čistoći
5. Marko Perković Thompson – doživotna robija
6. 30.000 navijača nogometne reprezentacije Hrvatske – doživotan boravak na burzi rada
7. BAUHAUS zbog slogana „SVE ZA DOM“ – 20% veći porez sljedećih 10 godina
Tužitelji: Sultan Sulejman I., veliki vezir Mehmed paša Sokolović, Ferdinand I. i ministar jovanović.
Nakon ovih burnih vijesti iz politike prelazimo na sport!
Kao što znate naša nogometna reprenzentacija plasirala se na SP14 te je jučer bilo izvlačenje grupa u Brazilu.
Pogledajmo skupinu:
1. Brazil - Plesat znaju, pjevanje im nejde, nemaju ni svoj jezik nego pričaju portugalski i povalil bi im pola žena
2. Hrvatska - što reći najjači smo
3. Mexico - imaju ljepe šešire i tam ću se odselit ak postanem kriminalac
4. Kamerun - pojma nemam kaj da vam kažem o njima -.-"
Hrvatska prvu utakmicu igra sa Brazilom, prisjetimo se posljednjeg susreta sa Brazilom na SP 2006 u Njemačkoj. Za Hrvatsku tada su igrali: Pletikosa, Šimunić, Robert Kovač, Tudor, Šimić, Srna, Babić, Niko Kovač, Kranjčar, Pršo, Klasnić. \o
Evo i u koje vrijeme igramo:
Brazil - Hrvatska (Sao Paulo) - 12. lipnja u 22 sata
Kamerun - Hrvatska (Manaus) - 18./19. lipnja u ponoć
Hrvatska - Meksiko (Recife) - 23. lipnja u 22 sata
Cijene ulaznica:
12. lipanj,Sao Paulo: Brazil - Hrvatska
Kategorija 1 - 360 €
Kategorija 2 - 240 €
Kategorija 3 - 160 €
18./19. lipanj, Manaus: Kamerun - Hrvatska
Kategorija 1 - 127 €
Kategorija 2 - 98 €
Kategorija 3 - 65 €
23. lipanj, Recife: Hrvatska - Meksiko
Kategorija 1 - 127 €
Kategorija 2 - 98 €
Kategorija 3 - 65 €
Nakon sporta prelazimo na vremensku prognozu:
-slika govori 1000 riječi
Ajmo na zabavu
Fata i Mujo bili vec dugo u braku i vec nekoliko zadnjih godina imaju problema sa seksom. Problem je bilo to sto Fatu nije nista moglo da zadovolji u krevetu. Ode Mujo jedan dan kod doktora i pita ga za savijet. Pita ga doktor:
- "Pa jeste li probali sa ledja?"
Kaze Mujo:
- "Jesmo"
Kaze doktor:
- "A rukom, nogom, laktom..."
Mujo:
- "Ma sve smo probali, nema sta nismo."
Doktor:
- "Pa dobro, mozda da probate sa kondomom, mozda Fata to bude osjetila?"
Mujo:
- "E to nismo probali, idem sad kupiti kondoma i pravo kuci da vidimo sta ce biti. Hvala ti doktore."
I tako ode on kupi kondome i pravo kuci kod Fate. Kaze on njoj da probaju sad nesto novo sto mu je doktor preporucio pa da vide hoce li to Fatu zadovoljiti. Pristane Fata i tako se oni bace na posao. Stavi Mujo kondom i pocne guziti Fatu polako. Pita je Mujo:
- "Osjecas li Fato ista?"
Fata:
- "Nista"
Ubrza Mujo, guzi jace, zesce.
Pita Mujo opet:
- "Osjecas li sad ista Fato?"
Fata:
- "Nista"
Mujo jos vise ubrza, jos jace gura, trese se krevet, tresu se prozori. Guzi Mujo sve iskri. Pita je on opet u onoj brzini:
- "OSJECAS LI SAD ISTA?"
Fata kaze:
- "Aha, isto ko da negdje guma gori!"
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Po zavrsetku skolske godine pita majka Pericu
-Perice kako si se danas osjecao,posljednjeg dana skolske godine?
-Osjecao sam se kao general.
-Kako to kao general?
-Stajao sam mirno i posmatrao svoje jedinice.
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-Koje je najstrasnije mjesto na svijetu.
-WC! Tamo se i najhrabriji ljudi useru.
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I TO BI BILO TO HVALA NA ČITANJU I OČEKUJTE NOVA IZDANJA SLIČA OVOM!!
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.