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Šta je plavuša u BMW-u?
- Dodatna oprema
Što se dogodi kad jedna plauša trči prema drugoj?
- Razbije se ogledalo.
Anketa u Sloveniji:- "Mislite li da treba istjerati Bosance iz Slovenije?"
5% je odgovorilo - "DA."
95% je odgovorilo - "Neka nas."
Kakve su boje policijski auti u Sloveniji?
- Oba su plava.
Zašto Slovenci harmoniku sviraju okomito, a ne vodoravno?
- Da sviraju vodoravno trebala bi im putovnica.
- Kako je Slovenia ušla u EU?
- Primili su je kao austrijski parking.
Vozila plavuša auto i zgazila četiri čovjeka.Zaustavio je policajac i kaže:
- "Jeste li vi normalni, zgazili ste četiri čovjeka."
- "A koliko je dozvoljeno", reče ona.
Sine,kako je bilo na ispitu?
-Pobožno.
-Kako to?
-Fino, profesor pita, ja se krstim, ja odgovorim, profesor se krsti.
- Ti ono završio giimnaziju?
- Da, prosjek 4,9.
- E pa svaka čast, nego, koliko su ti ovi krastavci?
Pita mama sina:
- "Kako je bilo na testu?"
- "Dobro."
- "Šta ćeš dobiti?"
- "Neopravdani."
Šeta Ivica s ocem gradom i pita otac Ivicu:
- "Je li ovo škola u koju ideš?"
- "Da, tata."
- "E, vidiš i ja sam išao u istu školu prije 20 godina."
- "E, sad mi je jasno zašto mi ravnatelj kaže da takvog idiota kao što sam ja nije sreo 20 godina!"
Pricaju politicar i prostitutka i kaze politicar:
- Zdravo, zovem se Milorad imam 40 godina, politicar sam. Politikom se bavim 15 godina i posten sam covjek.
- Zdravo, zovem se Ana prostitutka sam i imam 35 godina, bavim se prostitucijom 10 godina i jos uvijek sam nevina.
Došla žena nakon trećeg braka nevina ginekologu na pregled. Ovaj u
cudu: "Pa dobro, kako to?"
- Jednostavno: prvi muz mi je bio Francuz, taj je samo lizao!
Drugi je bio Bosanac, taj je obradjivao posvud, samo ne kod kuce...
- A treci?
- SDP-ovac. Vec se dvije godine cudi sto ova dvojica nista nisu
napravili svo ovo vrijeme!!!
Kosorica pita Milanovića:
-Znaš ti na šta je na engleskom I don't know?
-Ne znam.
-Kvragu, nitko ne zna!
Zašto policajci i policijski psi rade testove odvojeno ?
- Da policajci ne bi prepisivali.
- Kako šest policajaca mjenaju žarulju?
- Prvi drži žarulju, četvorica okreću stol, a šesti drži pištolj i pazi da ih struja ne ubije!
Kojeg je žanra film u kojem Crnogorac radi i studira?
- Naučna fantastika.
Zivi u sumi, vuk nije.
Sjedi na jajima, kokos nije.
Ima glavu, covjek nije.
Ide u rupu, mis nije.
Ako pogodis sta je, dobices sedmodnevni boravak na njemu!
- Koja je razlika između para i godina?
- Nikakva! U životu potrošili ste i pare i godine, a pojma nemate ni gde, ni za šta!
Ide Goran Bare ulicom, nosi dvije kante Jupola i dere se: "uuuuuuuuuuu, teške bojeeeeeeeee!!!!!"
Sta je rekla Severinina mama kada je pregledala njen pornic?
- "Severina, kceri, nisam znala da pijes !"
Zaustavio policajac Muju:
- Gospodine, moraću da vas isključim iz saobraćaja!
- Nemoj, svega ti, jedva sam se uključio!
Usred noći budi Fata Muju:
- Mujo, Mujo, probudi se, nisi popio tabletu za spavanje
Pita Mujo direktora neke firme:
- Kolega, koliko mogu zaraditi kod vas? Direktor:
- Na početku 200 eura, a kasnije čak i 500 eura. Mujo:
- Dobro, onda ću ja doći kasnije!.
Umrla Fata. Iz mrtvačnice je iznose u sanduku i udare slučajno sandukom od štok vrata. Čuju iz sanduka "Uhhh". Začuđeno otvore sanduk, kad Fata živa. I tako poslije novih 10 godina u braku sa Mujom, Fata umre.
Opet je iznose iz mrtvačnice u sanduku, kad trči Mujo i viče :
- "Pazite na štok!"
To bi bilo to za ovaj put..hvala na čitanju
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
