Esim - 美国总统爱幽默
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huoxuan


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美国总统爱幽默 (Fun)
Posted 11 years ago by
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美利坚民族是一个擅长幽默、欢迎幽默的民族。政治家具有幽默感,往往被视为精力充沛、反应机敏的智者。大凡美国历史上的杰出总统,没有一个是呆瓜似的悲剧演员,更没有一个是表情一贯严肃的“铁面”,他们都能够在适时让人们感受到快乐与机智的存在。关于幽默,美国总统林肯曾现身说法:“幽默是一种润肤膏,使我免遭许多折磨和痛苦。”
乔治。华盛顿
乔治。华盛顿被誉为美国“国父”。美国独立初期,在一次制宪会议上,一位议员荒唐地向华盛顿总统提议,在美国宪法中应当规定这么一条:“国家常规军队不论何种情况下,都不得超过五千人。”坐在一边的华盛顿不慌不忙地回答他:“您的建议非常好。不过,我认为还应当加上这么一条:侵略美国的军队任何时候都不得超过三千人!”该议员不再作声。
亚伯拉罕。林肯
亚伯拉罕。林肯总统还是一代幽默大师,人们常常以回味他的幽默故事来感念这位伟大的总统。
林肯身材魁梧高大,但脸庞较长,长相算是丑陋。1858年,他与道格拉斯竞争伊利诺斯州的一个联邦参议员席位,道格拉斯在辩论中讽刺林肯是两面派。林肯则“回敬”道:“道格拉斯先生,若我真是两面派还会带着张丑陋的面孔出来吗?”
由于他出身低微,因此总有政敌借家庭出身问题刁难林肯,甚至明暗两处伺机侮辱他。一次他在一个公共场合演讲,台下传上来了一张纸条,上面写着“笨蛋”两个字。林肯打开看后,不但当众读出这两个字,而且把这张纸条举过头顶,还补充说:“我们这里的纸条,都是只有问题而无签名,这张纸条却相反,只有签名而无问题!”台下听众都为他的机敏反应热烈鼓掌。台湾著名作家李敖对林肯的幽默事迹赞赏有加。一次,李敖在一所大学演讲,他同样碰到了上面的境遇。台下一个人递给主持人一个纸条,主持人打算念出问题请李敖作答,一不小心,竟把一张写着“王八蛋”三个字的纸条念了出来。主持人当时十分尴尬,一时不知该如何收场。李敖反应灵敏,他马上说出了上面林肯的那一席话。
林肯“歼”敌有术。有个政敌令林肯十分恼火,他压抑不住内心的激动,曾公开发誓要消灭这家伙。可是没过几天,人们却见林肯与这个人并肩走在大街上,两人有说有笑,简直就是一对密友。这令人们大为不解。有一个人上前问他:“您不是说要把这个敌人消灭掉吗,怎么又和他如此亲密?”林肯回答:“是啊,我并未食言,敌人已经被我消灭了,这不,他已经成为我的朋友了嘛!”
林肯的太太脾气暴躁,这令他们夫妇身边的工作人员感到很难堪。林肯夫人经常因琐碎小事而迁怒于身边随从,不是责骂裁缝收费太贵,就是抱怨商店货物不理想。于是,一天有一位工作人员借机将林肯太太的坏脾气报告给了总统。林肯以幽默的口吻舒缓了这位工作人员的不满情绪:“先生,我都忍耐太太十五年了,难道您忍耐她十五分钟就不可以吗?”
林肯在忙于政务的同时,也博览群书,因此有丰富的知识储备,他对中国古代笑话也颇有了解。有一回,在去葛底斯堡演说的道路上,林肯专车被闻讯赶来的群众围了个水泄不通,无法继续前行一步。因为他的演讲不仅精彩,而且时常伴有幽默和调侃,很有感召力和吸引力。林肯见车子一直无法前行,于是他从车中探出脑袋,对群众大声说:“中国古代曾经有个死刑犯要被斩首,可是凑热闹的老百姓却把囚车给堵在了路上,于是这个死刑犯开了口:”你们不让我前行,你们看什么啊?‘“围观群众哈哈大笑,并为总统让道。
富兰克林。罗斯福
富兰克林。罗斯福连任四届总统,这在美国历史上独一无二。他因小儿麻痹症一直坐在轮椅上,以残疾之躯领导美国战胜敌人。而他身上同样不乏幽默细胞。
1913年,威尔逊总统任命富兰克林。罗斯福为海军助理部长,他在任七年,表现突出,主张建设强大而有作战能力的美国海军。当时,他的一个好朋友曾问及关于美国新建海军潜艇的问题。这涉及到了军事机密问题,他自然不方便回答,但正面拒绝朋友无疑会让朋友丢失面子,于是他说:“您能保密吗?”对方说:“能!”“既然您能,我也能!”罗斯福这样回答朋友。朋友识趣,便不再过问此事。
没有搬进白宫之前,他的家中曾遭遇过一次盗贼,被偷去了许多东西。罗斯福朋友获悉后,写信安慰他。罗斯福回了信,信中他说:“亲爱的,谢谢你来信安慰我,我们一家现在很平安。感谢上帝!因为第一,贼偷去的是我们的东西,而没有伤及人的性命;第二,贼偷去的只是部分东西,而不是全部;第三,最值得庆幸的是,他是贼,而我不是!”相信读到此信,罗斯福的朋友定会为他的乐观开朗而折服。
哈里。杜鲁门
哈里。杜鲁门1945年接替富兰克林。罗斯福担任总统。杜鲁门是“二战”以后的第一位美国总统,也是社会主义与资本主义两大阵营长达半个世纪“冷战”的挑起者。
一天傍晚,杜鲁门应邀去旧金山参加朋友的晚宴,不巧的是,他记错了朋友家的门牌号。他走到一幢房屋的门前,按响门铃后,走出了一个他并不熟悉的男子。杜鲁门疑惑地问:“请问,这是吉里昂先生的家吗?”这个男子并没有直接回答,而是瞪大眼睛对杜鲁门上下打量了一番,然后对他说:“先生,我希望您不要太难过,您长得可太像哈里。杜鲁门了!”杜鲁门一听这话,笑了,他又对这个男子说:“我希望您也不要太难过,本人正是哈里。杜鲁门!”
罗纳德。里根
罗纳德。里根是出任美国总统时年龄最大的一位。他在竞选连任时,与对手蒙代尔进行电视辩论。当时,蒙代尔问里根,年龄会不会是他竞选成功后的一大难题,里根回答:“我并不打算出于政治目的,而利用我对手因年轻而导致的经验不足!”演讲台下顿时一阵哄笑,后又响起了掌声。
转自铁血社区

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