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CP bi bio car pedera (ovo je sala nemojte shvatati ozbiljno)
PM-SVIMA POZNATA PICKA MATERINA
DC-dedin cicimici
t2-tacno 2
a evo igram igricu oko 110 dana a i dalje REGIJU KOJA JE HIGH GRAIN JA CITAM HAJ GRANJE MISLECI NA GRANE OD DRVETA
Vicevi o siptarima:
1.Kad Siptar pere ruke, pre ili posle piшanja?
- Za veme pišanja.
2. U kupeu majka, cerka, Srbin i šiptar.
Voz udje u tunel i cuje se jedan poljubac i jedan šamar. šta ko misli?
- Siptar: '' Mamu mu j...., ovaj poljubio devojku a ja dobio samar ''
- Majka: '' Neki od ovih gadova poljubio moju devojcicu a ona mu opalila sljagu ''
- Cerka: '' Eto ti ga... pored mene zive neki od ovih poljubi kevu!
Pa kud ide ovaj svet - ja mu sigurno ne bi opalila samar ''
- Srbin: '' Kad ce opet tunel da se cmoknem u ruku i opalim Siptara!
3. Gde mogu da se nadju dobri siptari?
- Na groblju
4.Iz zooloskog vrta pobegao lav i, dok se muvao okolo,
napadne decu koja su se igrala.
Zatekne se tu neki covek, skoci na lava, i zadavi ga na licu mesta.
Sledeceg dana Politika objavljuje
> Hrabri Srbin spasao decu od sigurne smrti
Covek koji je ubio lava revoltiran naslovom iz novina dolazi u redakciju i kaze:
"Nisam ja Srbin!". Sutradan Politika objavljuje:
> Jugosloven junak dana!
Medjutim opet dolazi covek u redakciju i buni se: "Nisam ja Jugosloven!"
"A sta si?" "Ja sam Aljbanac!". Sutradan na naslovnoj strani Politike
>Siptartski terorista ubio lava miljenika dece.
5.Zasto je Siptar cupav po grudima?
- Jer je picka u dusi.
VICEVI O HRVATIMA
1.Zove Alija u Zagreb, javi se Ankica:
Alija - Daj mi Franju
Ankica- Pa nije doma, da mu poručim nešto?
Alija- pa nek me pozove, želeo bih kupiti cjelu Hrvatsku
Došao Franjo doma i poludi, kad čuje, da bi Alija htio kupiti njegovu Hrvatsku, što si on umiošlja, moju Hrvatsku, ljut uzme telefon i zove u Sarajevo, a sad Alije nema i javi se žena! Galami Franjo na nju, šta on misli da je, što si on umišlja, a ova ga smiruje, ma ostavi ti Aliju, on kad je pijan, uvijek kupuje neka govna
2.Doselio se Perica sa roditeljima u Zagreb. Prvog dana izadje on napolje da se igra, naidje na grupu decaka koji igraju lopte i pita: - Momci, ja sam Perica. Da igramo fudbal? Ovi ga ignorisu. Ide on dalje, naidje na drugu grupu, ista prica. Ode jos malo dalje, naidje na neku decu, pita - Momci, ja sam Perica. Da igramo fudbal? - Stima, kaze jedan od njih, ali mi nismo momci nego decki, ti nisi Perica nego Stef, i necemo igrati fudbal nego bumo pikali nogomet. Perica, naravno, pristane, pocnu oni da pikaju nogomet kad u zlo doba Pericin otac zove sa balkona: - Perice, dolazi na rucak. Perica nista - on je Stef, ne? - Perice, dolazi na rucak||| Nista - Perice, mamu ti jebem, dolazi na rucak dok ti ja nisam dosao dole| Drekne otac. Vraca se Perica kuci, tuzno klima glavom i kaze - Eto ti, ne mozes da budes Hrvat ni pet minuta a da ti neki Srbin ne psuje majku
3.Zašto je Dubrovnik najpopularnije Jadransko ljetovište?
Zato jer tamo ima najmanje Hrvata
VICEVI O BOSANCIMA
1.Dođe Bosanac u Srbiju i šeta se on tako i vidi u izlogu harmoniku. I hteo on da je kupi i pita prodavca
- Da li mogu da kupim ovu harmoniku?
Prodavac
- Ne ne prodajemo Bosancima.
Dođe drugi dan u prodavnicu Bosanac ali se preruši u Kineza.Pita prodavca
- Da li mogu da kupim ovu harmoniku?
Prodavac
- Ne ne prodajemo Bosancima.
Dođe treći dan u prodavnicu ali se prerušio u Crnca. Pita prodavca
- Da li mogu da kupim ovu harmoniku?
Prodavac
- Ne ne prodajemo Bosancima.
Bosanac
- Kako znate da sam ja Bosanac ?
Prodavac
- Zato što ovo nije harmonika nego radijator.
2.Dosao Mujo u kafanu i naruci pivo konobar mu donese pivo i podmetac. popije on i hoce jos jedno konobar mu donese pivo i podmetac i tako jos nekoliko puta. I zatrazi on jos jedno pivo konobar mu donese pivo al bez podmetaca na to ce Mujo:
- A GDE JE KEKSIC?
3.doveli bosanac srbin i hrvat svoje zene u restoran.srbin kaze daj mi secera, seceru
kaze hrvat daj mi meda, medena
kaze bosanac daj mi mlijeka, kravo
4.Дошао Босанац у Амстердам у јавну кућу.И каже оним дамама:
- Молим вас, једно пушење.
Каже дама:
- Господине, имате од 50 марака до 500 марака.
Каже Босанац:
- 500 марака имам ја пара!
Одједном 5 женских око њега.Па га баце у купатило, па га баце у сауну, па га баце на масажу, па га положе на кревет, па му подигну алатку, па полију алатку шлагом, па полију пудингом, па ставе јагоду на врх.А он разгрну рукама оних 5 женских и рече им:
- Нека ја ћу.
5.Zašto Bosanci imaju smeđe oči?
- Došlo im iz dupeta u glavu.
I ZA KRAJ VICEVI O CRNOGORCIMA
1.Sjedi Crnogorac sa svojim drugom na stadion i gleda trku na 100 metara gdje učestvuje njegov unuk. Veli Crnogorac:
- Viđe onu budalu što se vuče iza ostalih!
Drug:
- To je tvoj unuk!
Crnogorac:
- A, viđe sokola što ih poćera sve ispred sebe!
2.Причају два Црногорца у пензији:
- Ђетићу, јеси ли ти, можда, радиоактиван?
- Јуначино, ја ти радио никад нијесам, но активан сам од четерес' прве!
3.Sretnu se vrabac i glista u Crnoj Gori i kaže glista vrapcu:
- Đe si, sokole!
- A vrabac će njoj:
- Evo me, a đe si ti, zmijo ljuta!
I TO JE TO POTRUDIO SAM SE AKO VAM SE SVIDEO UDARITE V+S A AKO NIJE SVEJEDNO UDARITE
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
