Esim - Vicevi
Login:
Password:

Forgot password Register

Article


14
Vicevi (Fun)
Posted 10 years ago by
HrvatskiVitez    
Report


Evo nekoliko viceva da se malo nasmijete.

Što znače 3 prsta kod srba:
1.palac predstavlja srpsku pismenost (s njim se potpisuju)
2.kažiprst - srpska kultura - kopanje nosa
3.srednji prst - svi srbi u jednoj državi


ANKETA: U cijelom svijetu ljudi su odgovarali na isto pitanje:
"Kakvo je vaše mišljenje o nestašici hrane u ostalim dijelovima svijeta?"
Anketa je završila katastrofalno:
* U Africi nisu znali što je to hrana.
* U Zapadnoj Europi nisu znali što je to nestašica.
* U Istočnoj Europi nisu znali što je vlastito mišljenje.
* U Americi nisu znali što je to ostatak svijeta.


Dođe Fata kod zubara, sjedne na zubarsku stolicu i raširi noge. Zubar je u čudu pogleda i kaže: "Fato, ti si kod zubara a ne kod ginekologa!", ona kaže:"Znam. ali jesi ti mom Muji stavljao protezu? Zubar veli :"Jesam! "Fata će" E, pa onda je i vadi!!!"


Dođe Ivica u ljekarnu i zamoli Viagru. Farmaceutkinja ga u čudu pogleda i upita: "Ivice, za koga ti je to? Nije valjda za tebe?", on odgovara:"Nije, to je za moga djeda", kaže mu:"Dobro onda, reci onda djedu da u 7 dana popije 1 tabletu.", kaže Ivica: "Dobro!" i ode. Na putu prema kući on si je ponavljao:"U 7 dana jedna tableta, u 7 dana jedna tableta...".Vidio je tamo djecu kako igraju nogomet te pođe on k njima da se igra. Kad je došao kući ovako ja kazao djedu:"Djede, u 1 dan moraš popiti 7 tableta.".Poslije mjesec dana dođe Ivica u ljekarnu i pita ga farmaceutkinja:"I Ivice, kako je?", kaže on:"Loše, baka je umrla, mama i sestra su u drugom stanju, tata je pobjegao, mene boli guza, a Lesi se ne vraća kući...!"

Sine, kako je bilo na ispitu?
-Pobožno.
-Kako to?
-Fino, profesor pita, ja se križam, ja odgovorim, profesor se križa.


Sjedi Dalmatinac na Jadranskoj obali i gleda u more.
Odjednom vidi morskog psa kako se približava nekom kupaču.
-Ej ti, prilazi ti morski pas!!-viknu Dalmatinac kupaču.
-Šta kažeš bre?-odgovori kupač
-Ništa, ništa, samo ti plivaj!-odgovori ovaj.


Pitali Bosanca: "Šta bi ti volio da si glup ili lijep?"
Bosanac ko iz topa: "Da sam glup !"
- "Pa što bolan da si glup ?"
Bosanac: - "Ljepota je prolazna."


Došao Mujo u kavanu i čitavu večer časti raju:
- Konobar, piće meni, piće tebi, piće cijeloj kavani.
I tako tura za turom. Došao fajrunt - konobar hoće naplatiti, ali Mujo nema ni kinte. Konobar ga izlupa i izbaci na ulicu. Sutra uvečer opet ista priča.
- Konobar, piće meni, piće tebi, piće cijeloj kavani.
Opet kad je došao račun, Mujo nema ni kinte. Konobar ga istuče i izbaci. Treće večeri ulazi Mujo i s vrata kaže:
- Konobar, piće meni, piće cijeloj kavani!
- A što je sa mnom? - pita konobar.
- Tebi nema - kaže Mujo. - Gadan si kad popiješ!

Imao pilot nesreću - avion mu se srušio u nekoj zabiti u Crnoj Gori.
Ugleda on svjetlo jedne kuće na brdu i pođe prema njoj. Zakuca na vrata, ali nitko mu ne odgovori.
Zakuca i drugi put, ali opet ništa.
Uđe on u kuću i vidi muža i ženu kako leže jedno pored drugog u krevetu i gledaju ga. On im objasni šta mu se desilo i upita:
- Mogu li dobiti nešto za jelo, jako sam gladan?
Njih dvoje ga samo blijedo pogledaju i ne daju mu nikakav odgovor.
On ponovi pitanje, ali opet ne dobije odgovor, pa se sam posluži i najede.
Htio se okupati, on ih opet upita može li i ne dobije odgovor.
Ode on u kupaonu i okupa se. Vidi on da samo šute, pa skoči na Crnogorku, završi posao i ode.
Kad je otišao, Crnogorka upita muža:
- Viđe li ti, šta meni ovaj uradi, a ti ništa?!
A Crnogorac će:
- Prva si progovorila - ti gasiš svijetlo!


Ekipa toliko od mene za danas i nadam se da ste se bar malo nasmijali








Previous article:
Pozdrav!! (10 years ago)

Next article:
Na putu prema dolje!!! (10 years ago)

ESim
or
Register for free:
Only letters, numbers, underscore and space are allowed (A-Z,a-z,0-9,_,' ')
Show more

By clicking 'Sign Up!', you agree to the Rules and that you have read the Privacy Policy.

About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


forum | Terms of Service | Privacy policy | Support | Wikia | Alpha | Luxia | Primera | Secura | Suna | Viva | Lima | Elysia | esim political game
PLAY ON