Esim - Vicevi !
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Ak007


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Vicevi ! (Fun)
Posted 10 years ago by
Ak007    
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1. Sedi Mujo na WC solji,sere i napreze se:
-UUUUU,MMMMM , UFFFF
kad odjednom nestane struje i Mujo pocne da se dere:
-AAAAA!!UPOMOC!!!AAAAA!!
Fata se uplasi pa dodje u WC sa svecom i pita
-Mujo,sreco, sta ti je, sto se deres
Na to ce Mujo:
Uff dobro je , a ja mislio ispale mi oci.


2. Koja je razlika između WC-a i groblja?
-Nema razlike, kad moraš da ideš onda moraš da ideš…


3. Umro Bil Gejts i otišao na onaj svet. Čeka on tako u čistilištu kad se pojavi Bog lično.
- Dakle, Bile, malo sam zbunjen. Ne znam gde bih te stavio. Istina da si zadužio čovečanstvo što si stavio kompjuter u skoro svako domaćinstvo sveta, ali s tim si doneo i brdo nevolja. Svejedno, napraviću izuzetak i
dopustiti ti da sam odabereš.
- Evo, pa ti pogledaj prvo pakao.
I pogleda Bil pakao. Čisto, lepo, mirisno, peščane plaže i kristalno bistro more, ribe trče gole, vrište od smeha…smile4
Bil očaran kaže:
- Pa ovo je sjajno. A raj?
- Pogledaj i raj, kaže Bog.
Visoko na nebu, par slatkih anđelčića svirucka harfe i leprša po oblacima.
Bil gleda razmišlja i kaže:
- Mislim da je ipak bolje u paklu. Biram pakao.
- Dobro, kako god želiš.
I pošalje on Gejtsa u pakao. Nakon dve nedelje poseti Bog Bila u paklu. A tamo Bil u vreloj mračnoj pećini sav u teškim lancima šibaju ga dva demona, vatra bukti, sve smrdi
- Šta je Bile, kako je?
Bil totalno izmučen i razočaran odgovara:
- Kako, kako je? Pa jezivo je, nije uopšte onako kako sam očekivao. Gde su one predivne plaže i komadi i kokteli i sve…
Bog se nasmeši i kaže:
- E, sinko, to ti je bio screen saver.

4. Muž se uveče vraća sa posla i na stolu ga dočeka
ženina poruka: Mama je bolesna, otišla sam kod nje!
Zatim poruka na frižideru: Hrana je u frižideru, samo je
podgrej u mikrotalasnoj!
Muž krene u krevet, opet poruka: Sanjaj o meni!
Kad se iznervirao zbog poruka, obuče se i krene da obuva cipelu, a u njoj poruka: Kuda, kuda ???

5. Bogati bankar vozi se u svom Mercedesu i ugleda muškarca kako jede travu.
Zaustavi auto i izađe van.
Pita ga: Zašto jedete travu?
- Nemam novaca za hranu.
- Dođite onda sa mnom da vas nahranim.
- Ali, imam i ženu i troje djece.
Bankar odgovara, smeškajući se - Nema problema, ima dovoljno i za njih.
Svi uđu zajedno u Mercedes, auto je sad prepun ljudi i dece. Kad su krenuli kaže siromašan čovek: Gospodine vi ste stvarno predobri. Hvala vam što ste nas poveli sa sobom.
- Ma, nema problema. Kad samo vidite koliko je visoka trava u mom dvorištu...

6. Šta peva mali ciga kad ga majka kupa?
- Ne pomažeee voda majkooo....

7. Igraju B i H i Brazil utakmicu i Ronaldinjo sutira slobodan udarac,a Bosanci u zivom zidu se okrenuli prema golu.Golman vice "sta to radite,okrenite se prema lopti", a mujo ce "ma suti bolan,ocemo i mi da vidimo gol".

8.Bosanac radio ko pilot, i zovu ga iz kontrolnog tornja- Molimo Vas recite nam Vašu visinu i položaj?
- Metar i osamdeset, sjedim.

9. Šta je to: splav i tip s pračkom na splavu?

- Albanska nacionalna mornarica!

Eto to je to
Hrvatska ima MORE,
Slovenija PLANINE,
Bosna PIRAMIDE,
Srbija..... - SRBIJA IMA KOSOVO.
Ako ste se bar malo nasmejali dajte mi V + S da napreduju i ove moje novine!

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Prvi Broj ! (10 years ago)

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Policijski Vicevi! (10 years ago)

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