Esim - Katonai viccek 2.
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Olibeer


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Katonai viccek 2. (Fun)
Posted 10 years ago by
Olibeer    
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Három tábornok a Nílus partján vitatkozik, kinek van jobb katonája. Az amerikai bizonyításképpen odaszól katonájának:
- Joe, a krokodil!
Joe be is ugrik, örvénylÅ‘ víz, küzdelem, pár perc múlva kihozza a döglött krokodilt.
Jön az orosz tábornok:
- Ivan, dva krokogyili!
Iván is ugrik, habzik a víz, küzdelem, de hozza a két döglött krokodilt.
A magyar:
- Á, gyerekek, ez semmi, nálunk ezt otthon az asszonyok csinálják!
- Hogyhogy? Bizonyítsd be! - kéri meg a másik kettÅ‘.
- János, hozzon három krokodilt!
- Hozzon az anyád!

Kocsmában mesél a seregben történtekrÅ‘l egy srác a barátainak:
- Egyszer meg a táborban beleestem a pöcegödörbe...
- Hát ez szar ügy... és meddig ért neked a szar?
- Egészen a térdemig süllyedtem...
- Még szerencse hogy ilyen kevés volt benne.
- A fenét! Fejjel lefele estem bele!

Az albán ejtÅ‘ernyÅ‘sök elmennek Angliába gyakorlatozni. Az ugratóparancsnok kiadja az instrukciókat:
- 3000 méterrôl ugrunk, OK?
Az albánok tagadólag ingatják a fejüket.
- Akkor 2000.
- Nem, nem.
- 1000?
Az ejtÅ‘ernyÅ‘sök nagy nehezen belemennek. A tiszt odaszól nekik:
- Na jó, akkor vegyék fel az ejtÅ‘ernyÅ‘iket, aztán gyerünk!
Mire az egyik albán csodálkozva megszólal:
- Ja, úgy könnyű...

Az utcán szembetalálkozik két idÅ‘s férfi. Mindketten erÅ‘sen sántítanak, húzzák a lábukat. Amikor elmennek egymás mellett, egyikük a mellére bök és együtt érzÅ‘en mondja:
- Don-kanyar, 1943.
A másik elmosolyodik. biccent és szintén megböki a mellét:
- Banánhéj, öt perccel ezelÅ‘tt.

A kaszárnyában csörög a telefon. A kiskatona felveszi:
- Melyik barom telefonál már megint?
- Tudja maga kivel beszél? - kérdezi a telefonban lévÅ‘ hang.
- Nem - felel a kiskatona. - Kivel?
- Kovács ezredessel.
- Kovács ezredes, és maga tudja, kivel beszél?
- Nem.
- Akkor mázlim van - mondja és lecsapja a kagylót.

A férfi felvételre jelentkezik a hadiflottához, hát megkérdezik tÅ‘le:
- Úszni tud?
- Úszni? Azt minek? Hajó nincs?

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Katonai viccek 1. (10 years ago)

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Harmadik szám (10 years ago)

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