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這場仗開始 ……
好像也快一個月了呢 ?
我們總是勝利，然後大大的失敗，這段半退休的時間其實，我想了不少事情，
為何我這半年眼裡所有所有所有的大型戰事，我們總是能毫不例外的勝利，然後又大大的失敗。
我曾經以為，跟著carlk的我，能陪著他一起顛覆這傳統，
但是我錯了，我只是把台灣推上軌道，把他推上軌道：歷史的軌道。
我們在某場戰役之後... ...
不對，我在某場戰役之後，鬆懈了，疲憊了，倦了，膩了。
當我意識到這件事之後，我知道，台灣被我推下軌道了，失敗的軌道，還不斷加速。
我拉不回台灣這件事，我一直在心底自責，但是我又一直不敢提出來，
我不想讓太多人意識到，台灣在往下掉，我更不敢讓太多人意識到，元兇是我。
是的，起因只是，我太膽小了，
我怕被責難，我怕扛不起歷史罪人的名號，我怕我犯的每一個過錯都被提出來一次又一次的打擊我。
最近這段時間，聯盟的事情我覺得幾乎像是盤散沙，戰場也被開得七零八落，
土耳其的戰士對戰爭瞭若指掌，而我的號召力又明顯不足，我其實真的已經，從有心無力，變成無心無力了。
是的，無心無力。
我開始對自己感到絕望，開始覺得為什麼連這種事情我都做不到，開始覺得迷惘、徬徨、不知所措。
一次又一次的責備，一次又一次的挫折，而我像個懦夫般的不斷逃避。
而眼前的戰況，就是結果。
我現在其實真的不太知道，接下來我該讓台灣何去何從，我又該怎麼跟carlk提起這些事，
我又該怎麼對歷屆總統、內閣交代，我又該怎麼面對台灣的國民。
真的不知道了。
我不會講我要退休這種現實才會發生的狗屁不通的選擇，只是我也不知道該怎麼負起責任，
我不知道怎麼面對這種狀況負責，
我不知道面對台灣國民我該，用什麼樣的心情，擺出什麼樣的表情，做出什麼樣的事情。
我也不知道，面對眼前一大堆的數據資料，我該說些什麼，
我不是什麼情報之神，不要說掌握全局，我想我知道的情報連戰場都左右不了，
慢慢的我開始忘記我玩這個遊戲的初衷，開始忘記我上IRC的初衷，
開始忘記我當上內閣的初衷，開始忘記我曾經做了哪些事情，
開始默默的被隨著時間湧上來的罪惡感吞沒，
開始放棄在汪洋中掙扎，
開始逃避，
然後結束。
這段日子我做錯了很多事情，或許大部份的人都沒有發現，或是不以為意，或是在背後大談闊論，
我偶爾會聽到一點，或是很大一點，關於這種事情，我其實並不懂那些話背後的真心，
我也不像大老師八幡一樣，有能力去推敲，
我只是默默的聽著，而改不了的還是沒有改，改的了的卻因為我無為的自尊心沒去改，
我也不知道我該對自己說些什麼了其實 (苦笑
是的，非常遺憾，你們這陣子，就是被一個什麼都不知道的人，引領至此，
我能做的事情，最後能做的事情，就只是，在這邊跟你們道歉。
對不起。
對不起，是這樣猶豫不決的、沒有領導力的、救不回台灣的、能力不足的我的錯。
對不起，我沒有讓台灣在戰場上打的漂亮。
對不起，我沒有讓台灣成為世界贏家。
對不起，我沒有讓國民樂在其中。
對不起，我到頭來，
什麼都沒做到。
真的，對不起。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.