Esim - Dowcipy ,kawaƂy i ten tego .....#2
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Dowcipy ,kawaƂy i ten tego .....#2 (Political)
Posted 7 years ago by
Kacper12222    
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Widzę ,ĆŒe spodobaƂy wam się kawaƂy i dowcipy ,a oto następne : |SUBSKRYBUJ|


UmarƂ Fidel Castro. PodszedƂ z walizką do niebiaƄskich bram. ƚwięty Piotr mu rzekƂ:
- Siadaj, teraz spojrzę, czy masz miejsce. Więc... w podstawowym spisie cię nie ma, w uzupeƂniającym teĆŒ nie, nic się nie da zrobić. Do piekƂa.
Fidel schodzi do piekƂa. Tam spotyka go Lucyfer z otwartymi ramionami:
- Witaj, witaj, dawno czekamy na ciebie! Masz juĆŒ prywatny pokój ze wszystkimi wygodami. Cygara, dziewczyny... ale moĆŒe najpierw kieliszek grappy dla strudzonego drogą?
Siedzą, piją, rozmawiają o ĆŒyciu. Nagle Fidel sobie przypomina, ĆŒe zostawiƂ swoją walizkę w raju. Lucyfer wzywa dwa diabeƂki:
- Ruchy do nieba i przynieƛcie walizkę Commendante. Ć»ywo, na jednej nodze i bez walizy nie wracać!
DiabeƂki lecą do raju. Ale tam ƛwięty Piotr skoƄczyƂ zmianę, zamknąƂ bramę i kicha. PrzeƂaĆŒÄ… więc przez mur. CaƂą scenę obserwują dwa anioƂy w dyĆŒurce ochrony i komentują:
- Widzisz, co się dzieje? Zaledwie 20 minut Fidel w piekle i juĆŒ mamy uchodĆșców!



- Zapomnij wszystkiego, czego nauczyƂeƛ się na studiach. W naszej firmie liczy się praktyka, a nie teoria.
- Ale ja nigdy nie byƂem na studiach.
- A, to przykro mi, ale nie masz odpowiednich kwalifikacji, by tu pracować.



- Mamo, zakochaƂem się.
- Jak wygląda? Jak ma na imię? Umie gotować? Jest z dobrej rodziny? Czym się zajmuje? Jaką szkoƂę skoƄczyƂa? Czemu mówisz mi dopiero teraz? Kiedy się umówiliƛcie? Przyprowadzisz ją? Czy to na powaĆŒnie?
- ... tato, zakochaƂem się.
- W dziewczynie?
- Tak.
- Dobrze.



Teleturniej w TV Trwam. Jeden z widzów dzwoni:
- Szczęƛć BoĆŒe, czy dodzwoniƂem się do Telewizji Trwam?
- Szczęƛć BoĆŒe, tak. Czy zna pan odpowiedĆș na nasze pytanie? - pyta prowadzący ksiądz.
- A jakie to byƂo pytanie?
- "Kto kusi ludzi?" na literę "D".
- Księdza teĆŒ kusi?
- Kusi i to nawet bardziej - odpowiada ksiądz.
- A, to dziecko - powiedziaƂ widz i rozƂączyƂ się.





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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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