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[翻譯] 日本怪談：什麼東西在發脾氣？
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大家敖早，話說到當時我在京都愛宕山一帶露營時的事情。
那是我學生時代的事了。
夏天結束前，我和兩位跟我交情深厚到一個沒弄好說不定連互相品菊都可以的朋友(雄性)
一起到山中進行三天兩夜的露營。
那是在一個遠離人煙，並且沒有地主許可就不能進入的深山（我不是地主喲）。
完全就只有我們三個男人，隨著時間經過越來越嗨，大家一不小心就喝多了。
結果就成了三個人一起喊著「天體！」，一邊脫光了露營。
現在想起來，那件事說不定是有什麼東西在發脾氣吧，
事情是在第二天的晚飯時發生的。
我們三個人裡面只有我會做菜，所以我是負責煮飯的。那天是做壽喜燒。
我在煮肉的時候發現沒有料理酒，我請全裸躺在吊床上的A去幫我拿來，然而A說他不要。
這邊說明一下，A是個脾氣好到近乎異常的傢伙，若是平常的A肯定會去拿來的才是。
我一邊想著「大概是心情不太好吧」，一邊走到帳篷旁的保冰箱拿料理酒。
這樣走過去拿，以距離來說大概五公尺、時間上是二十秒左右。
B在帳棚裡睡覺。
拿完回去之後我嚇了一大跳，鍋裡的肉消失得一乾二淨。
我當時不知為何一口咬定絕對就是A吃的，不停逼問A。
其實只要稍微思考一下就會知道，要把煮得燒燙燙的牛肉、而且還是三個人的份量在二十
秒內全部嗑光根本是不可能的事情。
何況A是個人很好的傢伙，不可能幹出這種卑劣的行為的。
我：「甘是你呷欸？」
A用不解的表情看著我。這是理所當然的，畢竟事實上也不可能是他吃的。
我：「肉攏沒去啊餒？」
面對這麼火大的我，A只是一邊賤笑一邊說：「我哪知」。
我被這和平常的A相差甚遠的態度給惹得更火了，甚至還想說要不乾脆幹掉這傢伙算了。
這邊再說明一下，此時的我明顯是處於一個異常狀態，自己也感覺到了情緒在擅自暴走。
我還記得當時有愣了一下，腦中一閃而過「不就是肉嘛何必氣成這樣」的念頭。
（順帶一提，其實當時我並沒有喝醉。因為我本來就沒辦法喝酒(譯按:所以沒喝的意思)。
順便藉這個機會向大家坦白：沒錯我就是那唯一一個沒有喝醉還脫光光的人。）
但我仍然氣到舌頭打結，含糊不清地繼續罵著A。
A也仍是繼續一邊賤笑，一邊說些「哦哦」、「是喔」之類的來敷衍。
這個時候如果不是B來了，我可能真的會拿那附近的石頭把A給敲死也說不定。
「恁咧衝啥小！」B有點生氣地朝我們倆怒吼，
但我當時覺得隨便怎麼樣都好，而A也根本不在意的樣子。
我幾乎已經成了嘴巴自己擅自在動的狀態了，自己也搞不清楚在說些什麼。
當時我真的幾近失去意識，而一回過神來，眼前站著已經穿好了衣服、拿著水桶的B。
接下來這些是從B那邊聽來的。
聽到了吵鬧聲而過來查看的B，好像看到了兩個長得很嚇人的裸體大叔在咆哮。
照B的說法，我已經橫眉豎目到他覺得「眼睛是不是真的要豎起來了」的程度。
而A則是用著要把嘴角給笑裂的氣勢在賤笑的樣子。
總之B想著「安捏欸害」，回到帳篷裡穿好了衣服，然後對著我和A潑水。
結果，我們提早結束了行程，在當天下山了。
在回程的車上，B說：「你們倆當時那不是人類的臉。」
在這件事之後，我們三人雖然還是在一起鬼混，但總之是不會在露營的時候脫光光了。
大家也要多注意喲。
→ 網友:啊所以那個肉到底跑哪去了？
啊，忘記交代這件事了。結果不知道肉在哪就不了了之了。
我們三個之間是討論出了「那大概是某種東西的陷阱吧」這樣的結論。
總之肯定不會是A吃的這樣。
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順便貼首歌騙訂閱 再20訂就能拿到章惹
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj8BBmxUQRg
【りょ子】月陽-ツキアカリ
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