Article
Vicevi 1.Plavuse
1.
Plavusa zove decka telefonom:
-Kupila sam puzzle i nemogu nikako slozit.....
-Bas nista nisi uspela da slozis ?
-Ne,strasno, nista se ne uklapa !
-A sta je nacrtano na kutiji ?
-Neko zuto pile,ali ja nemogu prepoznati ni glavu ni rep
-Ajde,strpi se malo,sad cu doci ja kod tebe
Posle pola sata,dodje decko kod plavuse,pogleda sto i kaze:
-Daj vrati taj cornfleks u kutiju!
2.
Stajale dve plavuše na autoputu. Jedna na jednoj strani a druga na drugoj , i sve vreme prva se čudi. Prva plavuša dovikuje drugoj:
- Ej ti, da li znaš kako da predjem preko puta?
Druga plavuša:
- Pa glupačo ti i jesi preko puta!
3.
Zasto plavusa nosi naocare na stomaku?
- rekli su joj da ima slijepo crijevo!
4.
Pricaju dvije plavuse
- mene moj decko vara.
odgovara druga
-I mene tvoj decko vara.
5.
Zašto plavuša nosi pušku na stadion?
-Zato što igra Srna.
2. Perica
1.
Pita Perica tatu:
- Tata kakva je ovo recenica:,, u kuci nema piva''?
- To nije recenica sine to je KATASTROFA!
2.
-Kaze otac Perici. Sine sedi za sto.
Sine ti si glup ko ovaj sto! i kucne u njega
-Perica kaze! Tata neko kuca.
-Cekaj Perice ja cu.
3.
Došao perica kuci i kaže mami:
-Mamice naš učitelj nista ne zna
-Pa kako to perice
-Pa stalno nas nesto pita.
4.
Donese mama Perici sir, a Perica kaze:
-Mama ovaj sir ima rupice, a mama ce
-Sine ti pojedi sir, a rupice ostavi.
5.
Izostanak iz škole
Nije Perice bilo par dana u školi i kada se vratio upita ga učiteljica:
- Zašto nisi dolazio u skolu?
- Pa umrla mi je baba.
- Od čega Perice?
- Umrla je od sexa, kaže Perica.
- Kako od sexa Perice?
- Pa lako, sjebala se niz stepenice!
3.Mujo i Haso
1.
Kako reaguju Engleskinja, Francuskinja i Fata kad ih muž zatekne s drugim
muškarcem u krevetu?:
Engleskinja:
. Džone, molim te, izađi iz sobe. Moj advokat će ovo raspraviti sa tvojim
advokatom.:
Francuskinja:
. Fransoa, dušo, pa šta čekaš, ...pridruži nam se!
Fata:
. Pa to si ti Mujo! Joooj...A ko je onda ovaj na meni, jebo mater svoju?!?!
2.
Carinik prilazi prikolici i zadiže ceradu, pa uzvikuje začuđeno:
- "Pa ovdje se nalaze sve same trudne žene!"
"Ah, izvinite!" – kaže Mujo – "Potpuno sam zaboravio, danas prevozimo reklamacije."
3.
Došli Mujo i Haso u kafanu.
Konobar: - "Izvolite?"
Mujo: - "Meni dajte pivo LAV jer sam ja lavčina, a Hasi može konjak."
4.
Haso: "Mujo, jednom sam ti nogom u grobu!"
Mujo: "Nije to ništa, ja sam s obe!"
Haso: "Nisi mi rekao da boluješ!"
Mujo: "Zdrav sam."
Haso: "Pa od čega umireš?"
Mujo: "Od posla, znaš da sam grobar!"
5.
Pita Suljo Muju:
- Je li crna boja boja?
- Jeste.
- Je li bijela boja boja?
- Jeste.
- Onda ti mogu reci da sam kupio crno-bijeli televizor u boji!
4. Pirocanci
1.
Ulazi Piroćanac u bus i pita vozača:
- Da li se plaća za cvijeće?-
- Ne
Piroćanac se onda okrene i kaže:
- Ružo, ulazi!
2.
Kako pirocanac peva "Hocu samo tebe":
-Hocu samo tebe, za tebe samo znam. Reci mi sta zelis NA NA NA NA NA.
3.
Pita uciteljica malog Pirocanca:
- imas 7 jabuka ja ti trazim 2 koliko ce ti ostati ?
- 7, reče Piroćanac.
4.
Šta radi Piroćanac kad mu se zapali kuća?
-cimne vatrogasce i kaže da ga nazovu.
5.
Piroćanac kupuje automobil.
-Koliko košta ovaj automobil?
-Deset hiljada evra.
-A koliko troši?
-Deset litara na 100 km.
-Mnogo skupo! A koliko je ovaj ovde?
-Sedam hiljada evra, troši šest litara na 100 km.
-I ovaj je mnogo skup, a koliko je ovaj "fića"?
-Dve hiljade evra.
-A troši?
Prodavcu se smučio Piroćanac pa odgovori:
-Kašiku na 100 km.
-Supenu ili kafenu?
ž
5. Chuck Norris
1.
Chuck Norris ne nosi sat on odredjuje vreme.
2.
Čak Noris je spustio slušalicu Olji Bećković.
3.
Prvo pravilo o Čaku Norisu je da ne pričaš o Čak Norisu.
4.
Čak Noris ubije bilo koga ko ga pita "da li želite pomfrit uz to", jer do sada svi
bi trebali da znaju da Čak Noris nikada ne želi pomfrit, ni sa čim. Nikada.
5.
Čak Noris je jedini čovek koji je pobedio zid u partiji tenisa.
I to je to u ovom izdanju.Posle dugo vremena konacno je izasao novi broj.Pozdrav i vidimo se u sl.
Ako zelite jos ovakvih clankova morate da predjete oko 25 vote-a
Ako sam vas zasmejao dajte taj vote i sub majku mu.Nemoj da ste stipse
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
